Yesterday, my partner Ben and I faced one of the hardest decisions pet owners can make: we said goodbye to our beloved dog, Smokey. For the past 18 months, Smokey had been battling late-onset epilepsy. Despite our best efforts and various medications, her condition didn’t improve. Over the past year, she endured cluster seizures that were becoming more frequent and intense. Just three weeks ago, we spent hours with her as she went through another five-hour seizure episode.
On Friday night, things started to shift again. It wasn’t the seizures this time, but her behaviour was different— she was whining constantly, drooling, turning circles and digging at her bed and furniture, never settling even with us giving her medications. The next day, she still wasn’t herself. We knew it was time.
As a grief counsellor, I understand the complexities of loss. The rational mind tells you that giving a loved one, even a pet, a peaceful, dignified passing is the kindest option when suffering becomes too great. But the heart resists—it never feels like the right time to say goodbye. In Smokey’s case, the fear of her enduring another violent seizure while we were out and being alone at that moment weighed heavily on us. It was unthinkable. We owed her more than that.
Making the decision to put her to sleep was gut-wrenching. But as I held her in my arms, feeling her body relax for the last time, I knew we had given her the peace she deserved. She had been with us for nine wonderful years, filling our lives with joy, companionship, and unconditional love.
Smokey wasn’t just a dog; she was a part of our family. She had a sister, Georgie, who we lost before her. Now, in my mind’s eye, I imagine Smokey reunited with Georgie, running freely through fields, chasing rabbits, and finally at peace.
Thank you, Smokey, for the love you gave us and the memories we’ll hold onto forever. Rest easy, my sweet girl. Until we meet again. 💔
Losing a pet is never easy, and as a grief counsellor, I often remind others that it’s okay to grieve deeply for our animal companions. They are family, and their loss leaves a lasting impact. If you or someone you know is struggling with the loss of a pet, reach out. You don't have to go through it alone.
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